[this is part 2: click here for part one]
We have reached the end! Ten days of sitting in a bucket, and Jingles the Magical Growing Elf has (likely) reached the end of his growth spurt, considering he’s looked this way for the last 8.5 days. I will let the pictures do the talking.
It may have taken me a year, but I could sense that Jingles wanted to be freed on Christmas Day, so I waited. Merry Christmas.
Obviously this is the most important part. His pre-growth size is 1 and 5/8 inches tall. In my previous blog, I made a big to-do about him growing to be SIX HUNDRED TIMES his original size. Well, had I done the math, I might have realized that 600 X (TIMES) his original size would be 81.25 feet tall. That exceeds the size of a toddler and reaches, approximately, the size of an eight story building. I clearly misread the box, which says (see above) 600% (PERCENT) his original size. As a former math teacher, I am ashamed. (please note the emphasis on “former” and be thankful). 600% of his original size is 6 X (TIMES) his original size, or 9.75 inches. That would make more sense.
[insert religious symbolism here]
He takes the plunge.
The halfway point. Clearly I should be worried he won’t reach his potential.
Drumroll….
Despite what it looks like, I didn’t reverse the order of Day 5 and Day 10 picture. I think he actually may have begun shrinking. Nevertheless, HOORAY! It’s Day 10! His liberation day! His day to emerge as a new elf!
Some comparison photos.
And of course…
He is 2.75 inches tall. That is 170% of his original size…not even twice (2 TIMES) as big.
I’m left to wonder: Do you think Collectible Magic Growing Things have shelf lives? Do they have the ability to spite those who wait too long to experience the magic? Or is this just another case of Jenny’s Bad Luck? Or maybe he’s just a stunted individual and I should be happy he grew at all.
Of course my mind wanders to all the places I could have gone wrong…was the water too cold? (obviously in situations requiring growth, cold water could definitely be a problem), was the bucket made of a weird synthetic plastic not conducive to growing? Should he have experienced real as opposed to artifical light? WHAT, man, WHAT??
Perhaps I need to accept that fact that I did everything I could and it was just wasn’t meant to be…?
But come on. Surely not.
*Santaland Diaries is a reference to David Sedaris’ book by the same title. It chronicles his job working as an elf at the mall.
I laughed so hard. Ahhhh funniness
Remember, not everything is about rulers. Some growth is imperceptible to our five sense. He could feel more actualized. He could have a stronger and more flexible substructure. He’s definitely more important than he was. Maybe that’s the real growth. He has grown in our imagination, like Beowulf or Arthur or Spiderman. Perhaps he really is 80 feet tall, but in a parallel dimension.
considering I am a participant in this experiment, it is unlikely.
but i wish.
Might I add that when I saw your comment on my homepage, it stopped after:
“Remember, not everything is about rulers. Some growth is imperceptible to our five sense. He could feel more…”
The end. He could FEEL more. Hence my bitter comment. I apologize.