I never mentioned my New Year’s resolutions.
I was not really firm about making them this year, although two years ago I had some pretty good ones. Of course, I broke them all before the year’s end, but I did come somewhat close to achieving one or two of them.
This time around, I was aware of New Year’s (obviously, since I wrote a blog about it), but it sort of passed me by. The only thing I consciously decided to do was to limit myself to three pieces of gum per day. (At the time I had been going through nearly a pack a day for three days and it was a little too ridiculous, even for me)
I just wanted to say, so far I’ve held firm. Despite writing my thesis, my inter-meal distraction dependency, and highway driving–even late at night (!)–I have resisted the urge to consume more than three pieces. And actually, my overall consumption has gone way down. I haven’t bought a new pack in at least a couple weeks.
This speaks nothing of my resistance towards cookies or ice cream or anything else that might require some sort of will power, but it’s all about the baby steps. Today: gum. Tomorrow: the world.
(That’s right. I plan to give up the world)
In all seriousness, though, I wish I could learn to keep my mouth shut. Even though this revelation may be shocking, sometimes my big mouth gets me in trouble. I either open it when it should be closed or close it when it should be opened. And this has nothing to do with food consumption, though one could argue that that’s its own can of worms (I just typed “words” instead of “worms.” Freudian slip?) What’s worse is that when my mouth is open and should be closed, it is usually speaking at a volume that far exceeds the decibal level of normal human conversation. Some people consider this to be “shouting,” but that is just my normal speaking voice. I can’t help that I was given the gift of projection, though I suppose I should use some discretion when discussing certain topics in public. Therein lies my problem: I am impulsive and emotionally driven, and what do I have to deal with my emotions but words?! (I suppose a fist through a wall might work, or impenetrable crushing silence, but I am not a man.)
I’m pretty sure my emotional/impulsive thing is the product of being a Cancer, but as someone recently pointed out, I’m too quick to pass the blame (in this case, to astrology) so perhaps it could be a new New Year’s resolution for me: to fix myself rather than make excuses. And maybe while I’m at it, I should avoid making rash decisions and then yelling about them. Or because of them. Or to them.
but then again, I think the whole point of coming home (and hence starting Read, Play, Write) was to better myself. Maybe I was getting a jump start on the whole resolution thing without even realizing it…?
I guess if all else fails, at least I’ll be saving some money on gum.
(If you’ve never tried this flavor, don’t start.)
3 thoughts on “Extra Strawberry Banana – I will conquer you!”
Honey. In keeping with your blog, do you remember that part in Eat, Pray, Love, where Liz is describing the marriage of a couple she knows? She talks about how the wife is a WASP, always suppressing her emotions, and one time she got REALLY mad and wrote horrible words on the wall. Not in her native english, but in italian so that her husband could read it. And to write in Italian, she had to think about what she wanted to say, and then translate it. So she even stays true to her nature when trying to express anger–she still censors herself.
I had a point, but I seem to have forgotten it. Maybe i’ve missed the point. But I think it involves the fact that when you’re angry, let it out. Scream it out. Because there’s a reason you are, and who gives a crap (you know I wanted to say a really bad word here, because I have no problem letting out anger) if you’re emotional and impulsive. Don’t turn into one of those empty-shell people like the wasps we see in NH. If you start wearing Patagonia and cargo pants, and then begin selling maple syrup out of your honda, i’ll officially disown you as my friend.
Your honesty makes you lovable and real. And those are the two things I love most about you. That and the fact that you say “venture for crackers.” I mean, who else but you?
I apologize that this comment isn’t as sweet as Danielle’s above. I was just thinking how bubblegum is marketed much like condoms are. That picture made me think of it. Wild, exotic flavor! Lots of color! Sensations in general! Really fun fonts!
hahahaha that’s something I’m going to try not to think about the next time I’m buying gum!