They warned me (they being the various echoes inside my head) that Black Swan was a psychological thriller, that it was “dark and twisted.” Even though I have immense fear of horror films, this was not a horror film and HELLOOOO there are swans and ballet involved. So yeah, I can totally do dark and twisted.
Correction: I am a big chicken pansy (a domesticated fowl covered in petals) and was literally shrinking in my seat with each creepy self-destructive, I’m-going-to-peel-my-own-skin-off, scene and/or any appearance by the mother. I actually welcomed the love scenes (natalie with hand/natalie with mila kunis) until the creepy slasher sound interrupted the moment. Don’t get me wrong…I understood and appreciated the premise (“it’s like method acting but with ballet and schizophrenia”), knowing as soon as Natalie passed herself on the train station that she was going to transform from Ms. I-wear-a-white-feather-boa to Ms. I-wear-black-leather-and-eat-my-own-soul, but that didn’t make it easier to endure without wanting to vomit. At least I didn’t scream (to my knowledge).
The worst thing about these kinds of movies is that they evoke this kind of “could that happen to me?” feeling, and I just keep picturing the most disturbing images over and over again. Clearly, that’s how insanity is born.
The next day, after I made it through the night without waking up in a cold sweat, I went to see No Strings Attached. Even though I was skeptical at first, I feel that watching this movie redeemed Natalie, not in her credibility as an actress, but as a human being. Look at how fresh and happy she looks:
It was a totally romantic, girly, this would NEVER EVER EVER happen in real life kind of movie, but I left the theatre with that annoyed happy feeling (sigh. the girl gets the guy and everyone’s in love. eye roll), but that was better than having the urge to hide in a corner and rock back and forth until the darkness goes away. No Strings actually wasn’t THAT cheesy, and had some particularly funny and sweet (gag, yes, I said sweet) moments. But, I will never think of the Leonna Lewis song, “Bleeding Love” in the same way again.
This week my teacher and I were discussing my thesis and she said that I kind of reminded her of Natalie Portman (obviously, I am the black swan)–that in the movie version of my life, she thought Natalie Portman should play me. I totally dig that. We’ve got the petite Jewish thing going on, although I must say, she can pull of the shaved head look better than I think I would.
I guess she’s making her comeback, given all the other movies I saw attractions for. Someone theorized it was because she anticipated getting pregnant, so she wanted to make some money before she doubled in size and wasn’t able to work for a while. Makes sense. I give her kudos, though. She’s a versatile actress and can be quite charming when she’s not ripping off her own flesh.
I really hope she’ll play me someday *crosses fingers*
11 thoughts on “natalie portman overload”
i wish i would of wrote here rather than texting you all that, good to know
I think she’ll win the oscar for best lead actress for black swan. Probably deservingly so as well. There is a very nice short film she acted in a few years back, part of the movie “Paris, je t’aime”. Check it out if you’re still in the overload stage.
Thanks for the clip…so good!! I just heard about that movie, actually, and added it to my Netflix rotation. Did you see/hear that Natalie won the SAG for best actress? She definitely deserves it I think!
I know, this clip is awesome. The music during the fast motion scene has been haunting me every since I saw that for the first time. You should watch the whole movie, it’s a collection of short films, some better than others but definitely worth watching it. Another great film from that movie:
Despite my love for Natalie, I liked this clip better! It’s so good! Did you notice, though, when it said he took her to all her favorite movies, that one of the billboards read “Damnation”? Now maybe those Parisians are a different breed, but that doesn’t sound like MY favorite kind of movie. hahaha
Haha, the “Damnation” billboard is probably allegoric to the story, but you can’t really know with the French…By the way, when the guy said that he hates it when his wife ends up eating part of what he orders, I swear I heard a voice from beyond screaming “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!” 🙂
I totally had a Black Swan moment the other week at school. This was when NMSU was just getting started for the semester and everyone was still going to class, so there were no close parking spots. I parked out at the ACF and as I was getting out of my car, up pulls the exact same make, model, and color car (which is unusual since I don’t drive a truck like everyone else). Then out gets a girl with the same haircut and color as me, but her hair is hiding her face so I can’t see it and she doesn’t notice me even though I’m 2 parking spots away. I was like, um, is that me? Seriously, I’ve never even seen another car like mine in New Mexico, and nobody parks out in that lot. Then I obsessively followed her to try and catch a glimpse of her face to make sure it wasn’t me (or Natalie Portman), but I never got to see it….
hahaha I think I remember you telling Amanda and me that–so bizarre! But we concluded she was an undergrad because of her choice of attire?
Correct, bright turquoise blue hoodie was the give away. Phew, that was a close one! Just to be safe, I’m never, ever pulling at a hangnail again.
donkeys and monkeys. neat stuff, jc. it seems i no longer dream about natalie or fantasize about her as i did as a young boy, but then you write this and i see clips and my mind wanders. for i was only two years younger than her when i watched her seek revenge on stansfield and, of course, fell in love. and during her training she also teaches leon! (see clip) but i will not be able to see her in that we’re friends so lets get freaky under the sheets flick. too emotional.
Nice clip, Higgadoo. I do remember liking that scene.
The freaky in the sheets movie isn’t as bad as you think, but I support your decision not to see it. Instead of donkeys and monkeys, you’d have to quote things like “You make my heart have premature ventricular contractions.” I don’t think you could cope.