The Blogging Conundrum
Answer me this.
Recently, one of my friends found a blog by this guy who answers women’s questions about relationships and how to score a man and all of that. And his blog went viral—like thousands of women flocked to it.
Now, being a blogger who doesn’t experience quite as much traffic on my page, I thought: what if I were to change my theme from a weird, LizGilbert wannabe blog-about-nothing TO dating advice for dudes from a woman’s point of view?
I think I’d get zero hits.
Why? Because guys don’t care about that kind of thing. They’ll MAYBE read a self-help book written by a guy FOR a guy about how to score a lot of women, but actual relationship advice written by a woman for a man? HA.
So, what is it about women that makes us seek advice to understand the male perspective yada yada ad nauseam while men are content to just grab a wingman and go for it?
I have three possible theories.1. Advice about what a woman is thinking is moot.
Why? Because women are all over the place. When a woman doesn’t call you, it could mean she’s not interested. It could also mean she’s playing hard to get. It could also mean she’s waiting for you to GROW A PAIR and call her because you’re the guy and you’re supposed to make the first move. Women are complex; men are simple. If a man isn’t calling, it’s probably because he’s not interested. Case closed.2. Women care about relationships and men just want to get laid.
Relax and embrace the stereotype.
“What about women who don’t want a relationship and men who do?”
Well, if a woman is just looking to get some action, do you think she needs advice on how to do it? Nope! It’s the one time anisogamy (evolutionary investment difference between man and woman) swings in our direction. There’s always a taker!
On the other hand, men who want relationships are a small minority because they have to reach some critical point where they’ve been forced to evaluate themselves and ask, “What am I doing with my life? Why do I have nothing substantial to show for it?” and this tends to occur sometime after the age of 30 (give or…give…ten or fifteen years).3. Women think that by reading up on the male brain, they can control the situation! And men refuse to take advice from a woman.
Gender revolution or not, men still find it demoralizing to admit that a woman knows something they do not, even if it’s about other WOMEN. Never correct a man! If I wanted to make a website geared toward men, it would have to be such that I gave them all the answers, but somehow made it seem that they discovered them on their own without my help. And then I STILL wouldn’t have a a million blog hits because unlike women, who share links to male-advice website like wildfire, a man would keep a website like that a secret. He’s not going to admit he read it. Only if there are naked pictures of boobs would he share a website with another dude. And no offense, but I just don’t want to go there.
So, to conclude, if I were going to give a single piece of unsolicited advice to a man who finds himself in love, it would be this:
Ted (from How I Met Your Mother—yes, I know, relax, Frankie) is annoying 90% of the time, even to me BUT he did master The Grand Gesture.
No, that’s not a large middle finger pointed in one’s general direction; that’s the chips-all-in move. Go big or go home. The dude made it rain! There’s something to be admired there.
Ask her out. Show up on her doorstep (barring there’s not a restraining order) with flowers.
Make it rain.