Travel & Food Writer

Here’s an Eleven-Second Video Clip from While You Were Sleeping.

 

It’s bootlegged and of poor quality, so this is the main idea:

 

Peter, the “beloved” brother, began his heroism as a child when he saved a bunch of squirrels from their helpless, fallen state beneath a tree. In this clip, however, he confesses to his brother (played by Bill Paxton) that “First I knocked them out of a tree with a rock…Then I saved them.”

 

 

Please note Bill Pullman’s response. The way he says, “Peter….Ehye*”—it’s so full of disgust. It’s wonderful.

 

*This was tough to spell phonetically. I’m open to suggestion.

 

I feel it’s important to remember Peter and the Squirrels when I tell you about yesterday’s Lesson of the Day.

 

Lesson of the Day:

Do not mix hot chocolate powder into milk prior to heating it.

 

I’m not sure what inspired me to try this—most likely it was a form of laziness—but I learned the hard way that dumping fancy hot chocolate powder* into cold milk is a bad idea.

 

 

 

Here is why you should NOT pour the contents of such a mix into cold milk:

 

1. It will not mix well, and instead will sit bubbly and weird on top.

 

2. When you DO microwave it, it will erupt like a middle school volcano project.

 

If you let the microwave run its course, you will be left with nothing but warm milk that has a hint of chocolate because, sadly, the chocolate mix is the first to explode outward. This is the equivalent of a watered down soda. It is not good.

 

As soon as I realized what was happening, I stopped the microwave in absolute distress. The eruption had already occurred, and I was left with two choices: I could curse and sigh, clean up my mess, and resolve to do better next time; OR I could try to usher in the fallen hot chocolate back to the cup and proceed to mix and drink it.

 

I think there’s little doubt in everyone’s mind which option I chose**.

 

**You’d think I would feel shame in this, but this is not the worst thing I’ve done in the name of chocolate. Please keep reading.

 

 

I wish I would’ve taken a picture of the hot chocolate directly following its Mt. Vesuvius moment, but I was in crisis mode, AND (as I now know) in an emergency situation, I am committed to action rather than picture-taking.

 

However, this is what my cup looks like in the aftermath of salvaging what exploded as best I could:

 

 

 

I wish that was the worst thing I had done recently regarding chocolate, but last night I topped my performance.

 

I will make another video reference. Remember George Costanza and the eclair?

 

 

Without going into too much detail for the sake of the family with whom I live (I’m sure if they’re reading this, they know where I’m going)– I will just say I have learned my lesson.

 

I not only took the [unnamed dessert covered neatly in Saran Wrap] from the top of the receptacle, but I ate it in one sitting. And then I learned the ultimate meaning of the word “Glutton.”

 

I am off of chocolate for a while.