Ten Confessions 1) I keep hearing pitter-pattering above my head, and I’m hoping it’s squirrels on the roof and not a family of mice inside the ceiling (this is not a “confession” as much as a current event.) 2) I went to Barnes and Noble today with the intention of buying gifts for … Continue reading Ten Confessions
I mentioned in my last post that I was giving up ice cream for the month of December. As you may know, I am a bit of an ice cream eater (“a bit” meaning “I eat a large bowl every day.”) In my defense, though, I only eat pseudo-ice cream, and I only do so … Continue reading I Gave Up Ice Cream and Acquired a Child
The first time I ate at the restaurant in which I now work—the only time, actually, prior to employment—was the day of the “Man Hunt” for the Boston bomber. I remember this clearly because I had been shopping at the Providence Place Mall, having had my credit card declined at the Verizon store (twice, … Continue reading Adios, Ice Cream (and Bye, Bye Restaurant Guests)
I’m watching the Steelers vs. Baltimore game, and some of the officials and coaches who were in this Bad Lip Reading video are on TV right now. Every time the ref throws a flag and makes an announcement, I imagine him saying, “I went on a date with this girl, and her floor was covered … Continue reading “Orange Peanut? For me? I accept you.”
I just wasted an hour of my life by sitting in traffic for absolutely no reason. So, what happened was… I decided to go to the gym in East Greenwich. Now, I don’t live in East Greenwich, and I’ve never been to the gym there, but that’s where the “sister location” to my … Continue reading How Zombies Are Made
Universe: “So, Jenny. You think you figured out the system by being Miss Queen Positivity with your ‘sexy’ voice, eh? I’ve got a surprise for you. “On your way to work, you will cough for no reason. Normally, you cough because you’re sick and your lungs filled with bubbling cauldrons of phlegm, but this … Continue reading The Universe Has Spoken
I’m about to go to Barnes and Noble with the intention of buying ONE thing, which inevitably means I’ll be leaving six hours later with four bags of books and a lost sense of time, pride, and money, so I figured I’d write a blog before I do that. Since I last wrote, I’ve … Continue reading Compare and Despair
It’s not often that I’m proud of the things I do. But this year for Halloween, I’m kind of proud about how things turned out. First of all, let it be known that I LOVE Halloween. I’m the absolute worst planner when it comes to the holiday, but the idea of dressing up and going … Continue reading I’m Proud of My Halloween Costume(s)
No, no, I’m not talking about that terrible guy/girl moment where one person says, “Hey! Thanks for loaning me your Algebra book. Here it is,” and the other person says, “I know why you’re REALLY here,” and the first person says, “Um. To give your Algebra book back?” and the other person says, “Noooo…” and … Continue reading The Problem With Rejection
So I’m growing an elf. It was a Christmas gift from last year, and I put it in a “safe place” along with a couple other gifts (a fire-spitting wind-up nun and a chocolate covered rice krispie treat, which I sadly will admit I ate when I found the elf), meaning I didn’t find it for … Continue reading Collectible Magic Growing Things
They Call Me Fushilou 