A Wee Bit Employed

I think it’s time that I mention I have a new job.

 

 

I was afraid to post a blog about it because the universe likes to snatch good things out of my hands as soon as I write about them. So, rather than divulge too much, I’ll just say I work at a desk(ish) job for 30 hrs/week, and as part of my benefits (I HAVE HEALTHCARE AND BENEFITS, HALLELUJAH) I get an ID card that allows me to ride the bus for free. This is wildly exciting for me because now I feel like a real Mimi Smartypants*.

*Mimi Smartypants is a blogger in Chicago. She has shared many public transportation stories.

 
There are tons of great stories that involve public transit, like today—the bus driver who wears impenetrable black shades and a floppy beany hat and who never says anything (well, he never acknowledges when I say “Good morning” or “Thank you”) said, loudly and out of the blue, the “f” word in a string of cursing. I thought his vocalizations were coming from the guy on the phone who smelled like wet garbage and had a spike protruding between his lower lip and chin, but no, it was the silent bus driver. He was upset because a semi-truck had blocked the street and we could not drive around him. It was, in fact, a frustrating event, but it startled me nonetheless.

Where was I?

Oh, right, why I’m excited by public transit. But more than the interesting stories, I feel so… “city girl” now that I ride the bus, almost like I’m in a foreign country and  have no car. I have a skewed sense of maturity having come from a small town in which the only functional bus failed years ago. Instead of considering driving my own vehicle as a sign of “making it in the world,” I consider “living in a city that has proper transportation and being able to utilize such transportation without getting lost or crying” a mark of success.

Plus, it’s free.

Parking, on the other hand, is not. So obviously I’m going to take the bus now. Also, being able to ride the bus on snow days is a small triumph because I don’t have to worry about digging my car out of the snow and drive-sliding on hilly roads at an awesome 4mph, holding my breath the entire time.

Speaking of my car, I’m pretty sure it’s going to end up on a YouTube video or Instagrammed as #negligent-owner #canyoubelievethis #poorprius today because I finally moved it out of the driveway, still covered in half-a-foot of snow, and parked it on the side of the street opposing traffic. I started to scrape the windows but realized I’d be late for the bus, so I just left it there. It’s still fully covered in snow, evident that someone made a half-assed effort to clean the windows and then just gave up. As I walked away, it was like it was watching me, saying “This is how you’re leaving me?”

It was sad and funny at the same time.

I thought about taking a picture, but the angle was all wrong. And maybe it didn’t look that bad. This would have been worth taking a picture of:

 

 

 

 

 

Back to my job. I recently found the cover letter that got me an interview, and I was surprised that they called me. Since I included in my blog my cover letter failures, I figured I should include my one success.

 

Follow these tips, young grads, and you will receive part-time employment in only five short months after you apply!

 

Dear Hiring Manager,

 I do not want to waste your time by writing a cover letter than reiterates my resume, so I would like to use this opportunity to explain who I am and why I should be selected for an interview.

 I am a former dolphin trainer, middle school math and science teacher, and an English professor from Roswell, New Mexico. The number one question I receive (after “Have you seen an alien?”/ “Are you an alien?”) is “What brings you to Rhode Island?” The truth is, I fell in love with the state after I visited a few times while attending Dartmouth College. I discovered Rhode Island has everything I want: city life, walking trails, the ocean, a young(er) demographic, the tight-knit community feel, and traffic that doesn’t make me hyperventilate. Even though I had a wonderful job in New Mexico, I wanted to open the door to new possibilities, so in June I packed up my car and moved to Providence. Working at ——- just happens to be my “dream job.”

 

 

 

Yada yada yada. The rest is boring and highlights my “experience” and “accomplishments.” I should just do what my friend does, The Master of Unemployment, and write love letters to potential employers.

But, now that I have a job I have an “in”! I plan to infiltrate the system and eventually take over. I’ve already signed up to mentor a freshmen student—which is funny because I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be helping him feel comfortable and settled, yet I have no idea where anything is or what’s going on. There are acronyms and abbreviations that are not intuitive, and places like “Multipurpose Room” that are code for buildings. Room –> Building? So confused.

 

We’re meeting in 30 minutes, so I should probably wrap this up.

 

Have a lovely weekend, folks. And give your car a hug today, from me.