Top 10 of 2024

The Shand household is sick, so I’m writing this blog in a clouded haze of brain fog and I’m not entirely sure what I will type. I’m just happy to be writing a blog at all since I’ve been preoccupied for the past 12 months with keeping another human alive 24/7. Mom bloggers out there: I salute you. I can barely brush my teeth, let alone put out regular content.

That said, this entire year has revolved around Charles and my deep end dive into motherhood. I didn’t think I could do it–honestly, I didn’t think I wanted to do it–but God had other plans. It has been the most mentally and physically taxing year of my life, but I made a human and now I get to see him grow! The joy he brings to our house is something I could have never imagined. I am truly one of the Lucky Few.

Here are the Top 10 Mom Moments of 2024.

#1. I became a mom!

After 42 hours of labor–that’s right, I started the year with a BANG–little Charles Ephemios was born! Roughly 15 doctors and nurses* gathered round as our 4lb, 10oz little babe made his earthly debut a month early. We got to have a brief moment together before the doctors took him to the NICU.

*This is when any sense of modesty I had went out the window.

What a CRAZY experience. It happens all the time, women giving birth, yet it’s the most mind blowing and grueling phenomenon. Rob bought me socks that say “I’m the baddest of all asses” after giving birth, and that sums up how I feel.

I was so excited to meet the little guy who’d be kicking around my womb for the past eight months, and it’s still surreal to think that I made him. What a miracle.

#2. I got a tattoo for my kiddo.

The badassery continues. Getting tattoos together was Rob’s gift to me for our anniversary, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. My friend Lauren has a tattoo like this on behalf of her niece, and I remember thinking years ago that I wanted one, but it didn’t make sense for me at that time to get one.

Well, the time has come! The tattoo is The Lucky Few symbol. It was conceived in a dream by a mom named Mica May, whose child has Down Syndrome. The three arrows represent three copies of the 21st chromosome, and they point upward to symbolize the spirit of progress, determination, and endless possibilities these individuals have. “The Lucky Few” refer to the people who are fortunate enough to have a person with Down Syndrome in their life.

After Rob and I got our tattoos, my mom and Zemen also got them. We are bonded together in our love for Charles!

#3. I wrote a cover story, while being a mom.

Listen. When you’re still referring to your child’s age in terms of weeks, life is hard. Sleep deprivation is real. Why I thought I could research and write a cover story with an 11 week old is beyond me, but I heard “global dining in Rhode Island” and I thought, “but of course, that will be easy!”

I nearly went crazy and took the whole family with me, but I got it finished and it turned out amazing. I’m certain my editor had something to do with it, but nevertheless – food writer Jenny still exists!

#4. I persisted and endured.

Rob and I were talking about the challenges of parenting–a hypothetical situation involving stubborn children–and Rob told me that I must “Persist! And endure!…You must insist. (pause) And perdure!” It became a running joke in our family that we must “perdure.”

That’s the best way I can describe the breastfeeding journey. When Charles was born, he had duodenal atresia, meaning his stomach was not connected to his intestines. It required a surgical fix after he was born, and as such, he needed to be fed intravenously for the first couple of weeks of his life. From there, it was milk from a bottle (it was actually a small vial) 5ml at a time. Therefore, the beginning of our breastfeeding journey was delayed, and the anxiety that comes from everyone saying breastfeeding must be established at birth–and whatever you do, don’t give a baby a bottle before they’re three months old!–was firmly established in my brain. I thought about giving up at least five times a day, but Rob believed in me and always encouraged me. I worked with lactation consultants at the NICU and at home. And luckily, Charles is a baby who likes to defy the odds, so despite the ups and downs and many (many) mornings full of tears, we perdured. My original goal was 12 weeks – if I could nurse him for that long, I’d be happy – and here we are almost 12 months later. It was worth the struggle!

#5. Proudest momma of the newly illumined.

Charles was baptized at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church, the same church where Rob and I were married, which was a beautiful homecoming. I was so proud of our little baby, who was fully engaged throughout the service but didn’t cry once the entire hour – including being stripped naked, covered in oil, dunked in water three times, and then dressed in an 8-piece suit. I’ve never seen a better behaved child. As soon as the service began, he grew quiet and attentive, and he loved when the whole church erupted into Christos Anesti – like, “hey, I know that song! My daddy sings it!” Everyone who was there said they could feel a sense of holiness in the church that day.

We are so grateful to his godparents, the priests, and all of our friends in Orlando for making this one of the most special weekends of the year.

#6. We survived cross country, and cross-Pacific, travels with Charlie.

In addition to flying to Orlando for Charles’ baptism, we also made a trip to Maui to be with my family and Zemen’s family and to Utah to be with Rob’s family.

I was on the fence about traveling to Hawaii with a 5-month old, with every logical part of me saying, “Absolutely not.” Not only would it involve very long travel time (should we fly direct? break it up? fly in the morning? fly at night?), the amount of accommodations required for traveling with a baby is startling. Travel strollers and diaper bags, car seats and pack-n-plays, sound machines and milk reserves – the baby needed 3x as much luggage space as Rob and me combined. We watched hours of videos on YouTube about “how to travel with an infant,” yet I didn’t feel assured. Nevertheless, we made a decision to do it, and we did it.

I’m glad we exposed Charles to travel, and overall, it was a good experience. The red eye flight from Maui to Phoenix, however, was enough to make me swear off flying forever (although we flew to Utah a couple of months later) – it was impossible for Charles to sleep. Every time he got close, they’d turn on the cabin lights, or bring the drink carts by, or the pilot would make a loud announcement. It was not the easy, breezy, beautiful trip that Orlando had been where Charles slept through the duration of the flight, through the entire deplaning process, through the luggage collection and shuttle to the car, through the car ride home, and from the car seat to his crib. Apparently, every travel experience is unique, but at least we aren’t scared to do it anymore. And the fact that Charles has gotten to see so much of the country before his first birthday makes the traveler in me very happy.

#7. Swimming lessons.

For my birthday this year, Rob got Charles and me swimming lessons. Once a week for eight weeks, we got to sing songs, splash in the water, and acclimate Charles to getting his face wet and having his head underwater. It was a safety-first teaching method, and I found it enormously helpful. Charles was a rockstar – he got so good at the exercises. I hope Charles learns to love the water as much as his parents (and grandparents)!

#8. The sleep smiles.

After our trip to Utah, Charles’ sleep schedule was disrupted for weeks due to jetlag and illness, and then he seemed to have a growth spurt because he started waking up regularly in the middle of the night to eat, which he’d never done before. Even as a newborn, he needed to be woken up for feedings; he didn’t wake us. Of course, at this point, Charles was at the age when doctors said we should stop feeding him in the night, but Charles was legitimately hungry, so I ignored their advice. And I’m glad I did because these were some of my favorite moments of the year. Charles and I had this special quiet time together where he would eat and fall right back to sleep in my arms. I would hold him for several minutes afterwards, and sometimes, nestled against me, he would smile or even giggle in his sleep. I loved seeing him have happy dreams.

He grew out of the midnight feeding phase, but I’m grateful for those sweet and unexpected bonding moments.

#9. Getting Charles to fall asleep, at any time, but especially while in the crib.

Even before Charles was born, he’s loved the sound of his dad singing. I remember being 8 months pregnant and walking into church, and as soon as Rob started chanting, the baby moved inside my belly. It’s no surprise, then, that the person who can best sing Charles to sleep is his father.

This became startling clear the first weekend Rob was out of town after Charles’ birth. It was also the weekend I got incredibly sick and lost my voice. I don’t know how I could have survived if my friend, Presvyteria Elefteria, had not flown up from Florida to stay with me. However, neither of us could get Charles to sleep–at least not in his crib--at all. He blew through all of his naps that Friday, was completely overtired, and could only take cat naps while Pres. Elefteria held him. By evening, we were desperate.

Rob and I use an exercise ball to bounce Charles to sleep, but since I had no voice and was coughing every time I tried to make I sound, I made zero headway. Pres. Elefteria tried to bounce him and failed. It wasn’t until we FaceTimed with Rob that night and he sang to Charles through the phone that finally he fell asleep.

Henceforth, I used a recording of Rob singing in order to get Charles to sleep, and this was my secret weapon even after my voice returned.**

**Technically, I could nurse Charles to sleep, but we tried not to make this the default mode, unless we were traveling. Rules don’t apply when you’re 30,000ft above the ground.

This backfired eventually, of course, because Charles was no longer used to my singing, and heaven forbid I try to put him down for a nap without my cell phone. I remember the first day after the whole illness fiasco that I was able to sing Charles to sleep myself, and it felt like such a victory.

Moreover, the first time Charles fell asleep in his crib–without being bounced to sleep and transferred there–was with me singing to him. Granted, there was some finger chewing and hair pulling that were involved, but Charles and I did it! We hit a new milestone together.

#10. Charles says “Momma”!

I believe Charles deserves the final word, i.e., his first word, since this blog is mostly about him.

Thank you, buddy, for making this year unlike any other. I’m the luckiest person on earth to be your “mom mom momma mommmma.” Here’s to a new year full of wonder!